Acceptance

Today, I want to cry so loud that my throat would hurt from it. Shout so bad that my voice will be gone. I have found and yet I have lost but somehow I know I will find that person whom I am wishing for. I am so thankful for the things that I have. So thankful for the things that I have realized and longing for. I hope that one day I will find you. I am sad because I think I am too late. Thanks. All I am asking is friendship and you give me one but I am also hoping that it will be more than that I thought you are the one but I am wrong again so now I am closing the chapter where I am looking and end it. I guess an old flame is thicker, a present paramore is much stronger than a newly arrived one.

One day.

Well as of this moment, I am missing to have a boyfriend... yep you heard it. I miss to have someone to think about and to look me in the eye as if I am the prettiest girl on the planet. I miss having him per se. I miss the times when we will go out. We have fun with just strolling around the mall. We just enojy being with each other. I thought we were happy but I was wrong. He is actually looking for something more. Someting exciting and something new. He left me and leave a void in my heart that until now I dont know if will heal. I am trying to move on... I have let go... and I am not thinking of what ifs but I am actually feeling the pain trying to confront it and eventually heal it in the process. I hope this heartache journey will ease. I am jealous of the people who are happy with their relationships. I am jealous with those people who have someone right now. I am jealous with every couple that I see strolling about. But I know someday I will get by. Somehow, I will be ok and fine. One day at a time. One day.

Mens and christmas parties

Today is our xmas party at home and guess what I did win a lot of games such a happy day hehe though i am braving my dysmenorrhea. That's all

Rejection - A treacherous poison

Sometimes opportunities present itself on our face and our courage overcome us to do what we really wanted but then when we are in the verge of doing it you think of rejection and become scared and wanted to cry as you dont know what you want anymore. You started to doubt yourself. Your confidence fade and all that consume you is fear of being rejected so you pass the chance thinking there are another time, another opportunity that will come your way... then you realize its the only chance you've got the only thing that you can grab to make your dream a reality... then you regret it. You make another perfect chance but there is nothing left.. the chance has passed by... and destiny has been made. Now, there is only one thing to do and that is to hope and pray that someday fate gives you another chance that you will not be able to regret not doing.

Rejection

Sometimes opportunities present itself on our face and our courage overcome us to do what we really wanted but then when we are in the verge of doing it you think of rejection and become scared and wanted to cry as you dont know what you want anymore. You started to doubt yourself.

On higher understanding...

I know I have been a bad girl and I guess I need to stop what I am doing right now. I need to refresh my year stop giving criticisms to people. I need to stop before it plague my whole being before everything crumbles to my feet. I need to reorganize my life and start being nice. I need to do this for my benefit because negativity is bad and caring so much for non-sensible things aren't good. I want to be free of any guilt of any distractions. I just need to be the old me. The plain girl who is afraid to give her opinion. The girl who has her mind on her head. I need to heal myself and stop triggering negativity to one person. I need to appreciate people and see things positively. I need to get away from the wrong feelings and for giving wrong feedbacks. I need positivity and I need it now. I guess that what I will do.

I guess I will change for the better^_^