April 27, 2008

Hay wala na ung number nya. Pinaghirapan ko un ha!? Ano ba yan back to zero na naman ang lola mo. Walang alam na kung ano sa kanya. Ewan ko kung nabuking na ako pero wala naman din akong pakialam eh kahit na mabuking ako. All I want is to be friends with the guy mali na indi ako nagpakilala pero do I have any other choice? Well ok lang whatever I should have been honest edi sana ngaun ok kame. One week na lang mawawala na sila pero cge cool lang whatever. Ngaun eto sagutan na naman ewan ko ba bonding na ata sa bahay namin ang magsigawan eh. Hay, nakakapagod ang makipag away lalo na kapag lola mo ung kasagutan mo. Napapagod na ako. Sa totoo lang parang nawawala na ung lakas ng loob ko. Gusto ko lang naman mapalapit sa kanya eh. Mali ba un? Sana mabigyan ako ng pagkakataon na makilala sha.

April 23, 2008

Hay malapit na naman pala ang monthsary naming ng ex ko 24 na bukas ang bilis ng panahon pero bat ganun noh? Eto pa din ako indi ko pa din sha mapalitan ganun ba talaga kapag nag mahal ka ng totoo?

Eto na naman ako indi na ako natuto. Nasasaktan ako kay ******* bakit kaya ganun noh? Sobrang like ko sha na parang indi ko na sha maalis sa sistema ko? Tapos ang dami pang factors na pinaglalayo kame. Nalulungkot ako sobra pero ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko? Syempre I need to let go naman the feelings kc I don’t think that he will like me. Super asshole sha sa text so naaapektuhan ako kc nahihiya akong lumapit sa kanya at baka sungitan nya lang din naman ako. Ayokong mag – hi nor mag say goodbye kc tiyak dudurugin ako ng mga kasama ko. Nakakatawa noh? Parang ako naman din ang may kasalanan kung bakit nagging ganto ang lahat kc pinagkalat ko. Pero ngayon indi ko alam kc nasasaktan ako eh at the same time parang napapaisip ako kung tama nga ba ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko? Parang mali na? parang ako na naman ang dehado. Malas ko lang gwapo ang napili ko at model pa! Hay...

Ashie Signing on

Alathea signing on.
Tick… Tock… hmmm what should I say?...
I’ve done so many blogs in the past
til now I haven’t maintained anything yet…
But here it goes…

Everything was fine with my life until the day we broke up…

I was so devastated that I even go to our kitchen, get the knife and thought of cutting myself but guess what? I am stronger. I didn’t cut myself. I am stronger than my problem… that facing and solving a problem is just a part of life. I shouldn’t give up just because I have been broken. It was months ago since that incident happen and I could say I am fine now. Thanks to my family and friends. They did help me a lot in overcoming this phase in my life.

Now, I realize that loving someone whole heartedly is not a crime but loving too much is bad. Giving your attention, your time, investing efforts in one person who one day will throw it all back to you sucks but I guess its part of growing up thing because you will never mature unless you get hurt. You will never understand unless you love. You will never be strong unless you learn to move on.

Before I was afraid of being alone, I was very afraid that’s why I tried to be the best so that he will not leave but the more I tried to be the perfect someone… the more I was being neglected. Feeling like a trash in his life is not good on one’s ego… I even beg him to stay… he did but still leave me in the end. That time I thought life was so unfair but now, it’s just an experience for me and nothing more, nothing less.

I must confess I am now having a crush on someone who did not know I even existed. I want to get to know him first and be friends with him. I am considering in getting him for myself as a potential lover in the future but first I need to know him. I need to get close to him or else I wouldn’t entertain the thought. This time around I want to do it right. I want to do it slow. ^_^