Project Happen: Day 13 onwards (Losing weight is a battle field)

I don't know what day number it is now that I am typing this. But one thing is for sure, LOSING WEIGHT IS A BATTLE FIELD. Right now, all I know is that I have lost 9 lbs for the last 1 month and 2 weeks. This is the first time for the last ten years that I have lost a couple of lbs and the weighing scale has really tipped off from my consistently high weight.

It was a surreal moment when you have lost your first 3 lbs and you cannot believe that you indeed lost some weight. I know that 3 lbs is just a small number for some people but the minute I lost these damn lbs is the moment I felt that I have lost 30 lbs instead. I was so happy and elated though it does not totally sink in. I still felt heavy.

But when a flared pants that you have bought 2 years ago would be smoothly wearable now. A tight skinny jeans that you have not worn for a year would be falling off from your waist as it was now loose. An everyday t-shirt you always wear would become loose in the tummy area and would smoothly go down in your body without the skimpy feeling. Those are the moments where you will just say that "YEAH I INDEED LOST SOME WEIGHT" with a big smile plastered on your face. When you see your face in the mirror and notice that your skin has been clearer. When your demeanor becomes positive because you are doing something for yourself. When your laboratory exams are all normal and your cholesterol level has gone down below normal. Those are the priceless things that DIET... losing weight do for you.

However, losing weight is not all happiness. Its not all glamour Its not that easy! Losing weight is a struggle. A struggle to keep up. It is a battle field where you need to fight every step that you take, every food that you ate. You have to fight the temptation. You have to fight that free pizza on your finger tips. You have to hold yourself while eating some veggie that you cannot stand the taste when it is boiled. When you felt that the food you are eating is too bland for your taste but you are trying your best to follow your meal plan. When all I can do is cry and think and say and cry again because I want to quit but then I am thinking about my exercise routine for the day. Losing weight is not that easy. Its a battle field where your heart must be stronger than your brain. Where your reasons are stronger than the temptation. When discipline is the only thing you can hold on to. Losing weight is a battle field where you need to win in order to lose (some weight). That is losing weight. So if you are not wholeheartedly doing it and you do not have enough strong reason to continue on then I guess this feat is not for you. Because when you lose weight dedication is a must. Decisions are a must. You decide that you badly want it and you decide whatever it takes. You decide that you will do this for the long haul and not just for a certain period of time because losing weight is a lifestyle change. A lifestyle paradigm.

Project Happen: Day 10, 11 and 12

As the days are passing I have been easing my way in the diet meal plan. The sugar and caffeine withdrawal has worn off which means no more persistent headaches. Today was a fine day for me. I woke up as usual and went to work.

For Day 10 meal plan:

Breakfast: 2 pan amerikana, 1 egg white, 1 banana

Snack: 1 pan amerikana

Lunch: 120 g rice, 1 cup gising gising with 40g ground pork, 1 banana

Snack: 1 pan amerikana

Dinner: 120g rice, 60g menudo meat, 1cup adobong kangkong, 1 banana

Snack: 1 pan amerikana with pesto

I was so tired this day that I have a hard time of eating the banana during my dinner. I was also cranky during the afternoon. I have been soak by the rain upon going home and I need to take a bath not to have colds. With the bummer stuff going around me, my emotions are going havoc and I almost bail out on my remaining 20 minutes exercise. I am also being bratty with stuff. Though, I still decided to do the exercises. After the exercise, my emotions has been balanced and I was fine.

For DAY 11, I was late to wake up today. In turn, I was late in clocking in. Today, I am in my physical limit as I have been standing for half day as I am doing some work stuff that requires standing up. As I have said before, my tasks has been piling up and it also requires physical work. I also almost bail out again with my exercise but I still push myself and instead of walking the treadmill, I did the Les Mills Body Combat that is a free dvd with Nestle Fitness years ago.

For Day 11 meal plan:

Breakfast; 2 pan amerikana, 1 egg white, 1 banana

Snack: 1 pan amerikana

Lunch: 1cup menudo carrots, 60g menudo meat, 120g rice, 1 small apple

Snack: 1 pan amerikana

Dinner: 1cup sayote, 60g chicken, 120g rice, 1 banana

Snack: 1 pan amerikana with 1tsp Olive Oil, 1 tsp apple cider vinegar, dash of pepper


For Day 12, my day was easy and a peacful day. Me and my Dietitian friend will meet at the mall to adjust my meal plan however she texted me a while ago that she is sick and don't know if she can still go. So I am still waiting for her update. I do hope that she get well soon.

So For Day 12 meal plan:

Breakfast: 2 pan amerikana, 1 egg white, 1 banana

snack: 1 pan amerikana

Lunch: 1/2 cup adobong kangkong, 1/2 cup carrot, 60g chicken, 120g rice

snack; 1 pan amerikana

Dinner: (measurements only) 120g rice, 1 cup veggie, 60g meat

snack: 1pc of bread

Will try to update it once I have eaten my dinner/I have updates for my 3 days meal plan which is Day 13, 14 and 15. My Dietitian said that my servings would vary next week and would be smaller. The reason behind of the meet up today is because she needs to explain to me what are the changes that she made and what is the meaning of some "technical" stuff in my new meal plan.

Also, she also wants to add another 5minutes in my exercise minutes but then again I am still bargaining with that because my body still cannot stand the 10mins uphill treadmill without me needing to rest for a minute.

Project Happen: Day 7, 8 and 9

I apologize for not being able to update this blog as I have so many things that needs to attend to. Ever since, I started this diet it seems that my physical activity has already piled up which, of course, is a very welcome addition to my day.

For DAY 7, this day has typically been an easy day for me and also a weighing day for me. When I woke up what I did was get on the weighing scale to check out my weight. I am happy to say that from 165lbs, I am now down to 162lbs. I lost 3lbs for the 7 days diet that my Dietitian Friend made. Both of us are so surprised and happy with the outcome!!!!

After the wonderful news, I went to Fatima with my grand parents and since I am there I took a chance to visit an Endocrine Doctor. It was actually an eye opening and very relaxing experience. I thank the Doctor's explanation which gave me a calming and soothing feeling. She encourages me with my lifestyle change and just continue with what I have started.

As for my meals for the day, this is a very easy day that calmly just passed by.

My Meal Plan for today:

breakfast: 2 pan amerikana, 1 boiled egg white, 4 pcs grapes

snack: 5pcs Fita

Lunch: 120g rice, 1cup Ampalaya con egg, 4 pcs grapes

snack: 4 pcs Fita

Dinner: 120g rice, 1cup veggies, 60 g of meat and banana

night snack: 1 pan amerikana dip in 1tsp olive oil, dash of pepper and 1tsp apple cider vinegar

*Please note that I have 30 mins of exercise, 10 mins stretching and 10 mins leg massage per day. I also consume more thang 8 glasses of water

For my DAY 8, this is a Saturday. I don't have work today which means that I could increase my exercise to 40 minutes. In the morning, I did a 10 mins treadmill uphill brisk walking. After the 10 mins exercise, I made some pesto sauce. In line with my meal plan, this is how I do my pesto sauce:

3 tsp Olive Oil
1 tsp Canola oil for
1 bunch of basil leaves
2 cloves of garlic

Here is what I did:

Blend 3 tsp Olive Oil and 1 bunch of basil leaves. After blending, I heat 1 tsp Canola oil then crushed the garlic and saute it. Once the garlic is half cooked, I now put the blended pesto sauce and heat it. I do this so that I could keep it in the ref.

For my Day 8 meal plan:

Breakfast: 2 pan amerikana, 1 egg white, grapes

Snack: 1 pan amerikana


Lunch: 120g pesto pasta, 1cup chopsuey veggies, 60g adobo meat

snack: 1 pan amerikana

Dinner: 1 cup veggies, 60g meat and 120g rice

snack: 1 pan amerikana

Also, this day I do some adobong kangkong for my baon for the week. Today, I finished a total of 40 mins of exercise.

So for my DAY 9, which is dub as the swimming day and also a church day. As usual I woke up early to do my meal plan. I again started my day with a 10 minutes exercise.


For my Day 9 meal plan:

Breakfast: 1 egg white, 2 pan amerikana, 1 apple

Snack: 1 pan amerikana

Lunch: 120g rice, 1cup tinola veggies, 60g chicken

snack: 1 pan amerikana

Dinner: 120g rice, 60g chicken, 1 cup chopsuey

snack: 1 pan amerikana

Project Happen: Day 4, 5 and 6

As for the three days that I have not been able to blog about the things that I have going thru for the past days. Let me share with you what happened in the past 2 days and what is happening right now with Day 6.

For Day 4, I have followed my meal plan which was given to me by my friend (the nutritionist). Though I think I have made a couple of mistakes that led me to need a candy along the way. Please mind that this is a low sugar, low fat and low purine diet.

So for Day 4 Menu:

Breakfast: 5tbsp oatmeal (wrong serving as this should be one cup)
                 1 banana
                 2tbsp of Milk (Nonfat, no Sugar)

AM Snack: 10g of baguette (which should be 35g)

Lunch: 100g Rice (which should be 120g)
             1 cup of veggies
             60g grilled Chicken
             1 orange
At this point, I am feeling a little not ok and that I felt that I needed to eat a candy.

PM Snack: 1 candy
                   10g of baguette
                   2 pcs of Magic Flakes Cheese

Dinner: 120g rice
             60g Pork giniling with potato and carrot
             1cup boiled broccoli
             1 banana

Night Snack: 2 pcs Magic Flakes Cheese

Note that the whole day I have drank more than 8 glasses of 400ml water. Also, in order for me to normalize the blood sugar activity in my body I need to consume this meals every 3hrs. This is just preparing my body for a ritual and making a habit of it so that I could be mindful of what I take in my body. Another important task is to at least have a 30minutes exercise everyday. I could be just brisk walking for 30 minutes or an aerobic exercise for the same minutes.


After surviving the other day lets welcome DAY 5, I would say that this day was a lot easier. I am actually happy most of the time but the afternoon was quite a depressing one for me. I have again gave in to crying. After talking with my cousin, I felt I begin to feel ok. So for the meal plan, here is what I ate the whole day:

Breakfast: 2 pan amerikana
                 1 egg white (boiled)
                 2tbsp Milk (non fat/no sugar)
                 1 banana

AM Snack; 35g of Baguette


Lunch: 120g rice
            60g pork giniling
            1 cup ensaladang talong
            1 banana

PM Snack: 35g baguette

Dinner: 120g rice
             60g grilled chicken
             1 cup adobong kangkong
             1 banana

Night snack: 5pcs Fita

What I did this day was 6 minutes walking in the morning then additional 5mins walk from one building to another then at the end of the day I walk another 22 minutes to compensate for the remaining minutes of the 30mins per day.

Persistent headache is still felt due to withdrawal of sugar and caffeine.

As for Day 6, I have already consume the 20 minutes exercise for the day. I will just do another 10 mins later when I get home. As for today, here is the menu:

Breakfast: 2 pan amerikana
                 1 tsp sandwich spread
                 1 boiled egg with yolk
                 1 banana
                 2tbsp milk

AM Snack: 4pcs Fita

Lunch: 1cup bitter gourd
             60g cream dory
             120g rice
             1 banana

PM Snack: 1 pan amerikana

Dinner: 60g pork adobo
             1cup boiled camote tops
             1banana
              120g rice

Night Snack: 20g baguette

As Day 6 is still in full blast I have not yet have a final report regarding this day but I would say so far so good as I have been feeling quite ok and alright. Though I have to take a rest as walking consumed most of my morning today. Take note that the persistent headache has been mild and not as bothering as before.

         

Project Happen Day 2 and 3

Yesterday, I was out the whole day and have not even bothered to open a computer hence the no update. I went to my cardiologist yesterday and brought him my results. The good part with this is that I am in medication even if it is still in the early stages so in short I could maintain my vitals thru medication. He also advise me that after a month I took another lab tests in order for me to check if I am prone to the sugar disease. I am honestly afraid with my conditions. With my family history I know that I am prone and I let this happen to myself. However, with this trials I realize that maybe God wants me to live one day at a time. You see I have been struggling with my existence in this world for over quite sometime. I have been questioning things and become monotonous with everyday life. There is no thrill. There is no eureka moment. I just live each day. But now I have a target, I have a zest in my life that I aim to live. I aim to beat my sugar. I aim to be healthy. I am to make my vitals be at their normal state. I want everything to be ok. I have contacted my nutritionist friend. I have my meal plan all set. I am following the 3hrs distance per meal. I have been on 30 minutes per day exercise regime. I am actually praying for a miracle now. I am asking God to help me beat this sugar disease. I am very afraid to have this disease because it makes me feel weak. But now I know I am struggling to live. I am in a pre stage. So if I lose my sight on wellness I will be totally in the disease zone but even it I am still taking my precautions now even under medication.

Today is my third day and lunch was a struggle, I even almost vomited my food but I persevere and continue eating luckily I have finished eating the veggies and tonight the same food will be eaten so I am praying that I could persevere and eat it again because right now I am eating to live. I am no longer eating for the sake of yummyness of food but for me to live longer. Now, I understand what they say that you eat to live not you live to eat.

Project Happen Day 1

It all started with a single free dish that my office mate gave me. I know I should not have eaten that maddening fat dish, though I don't have any "known" sickness. So I ate it. It was my grave mistake that I ate that food. That I led myself to my destruction. Food is my comfort. But now, Food almost destroyed me. For a week now, I am at a lost. I am confused. I am so scared. I blame myself. I get depressed. What is a young 31 year old person having many medication just to normalize ones own health. As I am typing this, I just schedule myself an appointment with a cardiologist to look into my lab results that have staggering results. I am in a downward spiral as of this writing though I have contacted someone for a lifeline. I am willing to change my lifestyle. I am willing to do whatever it takes just to trim down this staggering results. I am so disappointed with myself. I wanted to try a new approach with life. To date, this has been my worst week yet for my whole life.

With this, let this blog be my project happen. I want to start another series of posts where I will chronicle my struggle with my weight, sickness and medication. This will be a reminder for me to be picky and choosy in what I eat to live longer. As my best friend said, YOU EAT TO LIVE AND TO HAVE ENERGY.

As a starter here is my baon for the day (consider it as the First Day):

(Left) Lunch Set + Snack
(Right) Breakfast + Snack

Breakfast: I have 3 (2inches circumference, 1/2 inch thickness) baguette slices, 1 cup milk (non-fat/skim and not in the photo), 1 boiled egg and 1 medium size banana. While eating the egg, I remembered that I have not put anything on my eggs and so I ask an office mate for a pepper.

1tsp pepper for the boiled egg

Snack: from the 1 egg, I leave 1/4 part of the egg for my snack with a square pan amerikano bread.

As of 10:48 am, I have drank 6 glasses of water and counting.

Lunch: 1 cup salad (lettuce and tomato), 3/4 cup rice, 2 pcs chicken nuggets (baked in oven, no meat at the ref) and 1 banana (while since i have been given 2tsp of mayo in my breakfast I just opted to make it as my dressing plus one Calamansi

while I am still waiting for my dinner meal plan which I was thinking that it would be Tinola :) Yummy!!!

The Diet Meal plan is made by my Nutritionist friend.

I just know

Mark this day:

I just know that something great will happen to me starting today something positive, explosive, amazing will unfold every day. I just have to step out and begin each day with a smile.
I can feel it the something great is about to happen. I just felt it in my bones.

Dream a little

I was trying to read my old blogpost since 2006 and I was shocked that what I felt before is what I still felt right now. It gives me this emptiness that seemed like I am not doing anything to improve my life. Maybe, I have really not found my purpose or maybe my soul have died long ago.

I also notice that I have this entry about my past boyfriend and I notice that it still hurt. It still hurt like hell remembering him. Maybe I didn't move on at all. Maybe I have not really extracted him from my heart. I did loved him. I still get teary eyed remembering him. No he is not dead. He just killed whatever love he has for me. I also remember this other boyfriend that I have that I still have the evidence why I did let him go. Upon reading it, it still damned hurt so so much. Then I remember this college friend of mine saying that whatever happened your exes will always always have that part of yourself. A part of your love to which you will still be hurt whenever you remember them.
I don't really understand it when I was a naive 17 yo chick but now? I damn well understand it and it pained me to know that I am still figuring out how will I ever moved on with the damaged me. I always thought that I am healed, that I have moved on. But then when I stepped on the landmines of my emotions, it still hurt. It still affects me.

But the girl before and the girl at present is much more recluse. Her circle is much more smaller now than before. The courageous girl has taken cover within herself. She has reach her peaked and have become a coward. But the girl is still striving for her greatness. The girl is still looking into herself and reminding herself to dream even just for a little.

Welcoming 2016 with a BANG!

This is the first time that I will assign a word for my year. My word for this year is FIERCE. Fierceness in trying new things, in getting what I want, in going forth with what I do have to achieve. Fierceness in serving and flourishing my faith. Fierceness in getting to know people and expanding my horizons. Fierceness in getting new friends. Fierceness in getting my health back. Fierceness in working tirelessly for the institution that I start to commit to.

I have started my year singing my heart out which is a good thing as I think I just have drive the bad luck away with my very very very loud voice. Before the year ends, I have colored my hair red to which I have been longing to do. I have cut it in shoulder length for a change. I have dedicated myself to work even during holidays. I stayed at a coffee shop to do my work. Make Morcon and Hamonado for the first time. Another first was completing a coffee bean and tea leaf sticker without me meaning to finish it. I also help finish yet another Starbucks planner care of my youngest brother, however, its the first time that I was with my family drinking Starbucks with them.

The closing days of 2015 and the beginning days of 2016 was really a productive one for me. Since the year has started I have 3 planners in hand and ready for use. The good thing with the planners was one of them is not dated and so I could just use it for another year. Pretty much my first week in work was super productive too as I have attended a strategic planning for 10 years. Even though it was tiring and hectic, I have learned a lot and have gave me better perspective in where does our office wants to go. I was also inspired and would want to go to that vision with them. I want to help them attain their goals. I was energized with their dedication and their love of their work. Even though I was tired, I am still energize with ideas popping in my mind on how I will be able to help them. I just prayed that somehow what I do and contribute in my silent ways will be appreciated. I really wanted to give my best because I truly would love to help them achieve their goals. I would really want to be part of an office that truly wanted to be the best.

Well I guess I just need to go back to my core and my mantra. I guess if I follow it again I would have again be on the right track.

And my mantra? Love your work and your work would love you back.

My inspiration statement? Get up, dress up and show up.

Lets be FIERCE!