My 2013 in a nutshell

I would say that my 2013 was a rollercoaster ride. I have been to the highs and lows of the but I would say that this year was definitely a year of lessons and eye opening experiences.

This is the year that for the first time, I rode a plane. Get out of the country. Visit Singapore. Went to Universal Studios. Visit Malaysia. Went to Legoland. Use my passport and put many stamps on it.

I have learned that I am really a family person and would not exchange the love of my family for money.

I have learned to walk away when its no longer helping me and turns out that was only dragging me down.

I am single again. This time Im taking my time in finding my otl. In the right god's time, I know everything will be alright.

I love my work. I enjoy my work.

Its the first time I get to buy the bags that I fancy.

My niece turned 1.

Im healthy.

My family is healthy.

My youngest brother graduated and now, Im free.

Time to redefine my goals... now for myself and for the future.

Im now looking forward.

Thank you 2013!!!

May 2014 be so generous and so kind to me too.

I am looking forward for your surprises and love.

To God be the Glory.

Happy New Year!!♥♥♥♥

Happy Birthday Me

Dear Shin,

You have come a long way now. Be reminded that everything happens for a reason. That everything is according to plan. You have already reach this point in your life where everything will now unfold in your eyes. Let God lead you the way. Let him be your anchor. Remember that you are living in a miraculous life. Be thankful and grateful that you are still standing and intact despite of every storm that you have encounter. May God's love envelopes you more and may your one true love seek you. I wish for your total happiness and success. May the good Lord bless you more. Smile always.


Love,

Yourself

Until When?

And then, it struck me. You drew blood again from me Papa God. I know what you are doing. You want me so bad to wake up! To be let loose, to be the greatest that I am. I know what you are doing you are testing me. You are pushing me to the wall so that I could really be smashed. Then when I crumble, when I am weak I know that is the time that you will do the final blow and make me into pieces. Once Im broken you will pick me up and mold me again to the Best version of me. I am starting to get broken, I see the crazy scratches, the crazy cracks in me. I know I am a hard glass to break Papa God. I know what you are doing... I am cracking... I really am. Behind all the tough exterior I am cracking... I will crack soon Papa God. Don't worry I will come back. I will be there. I will come to you and I know I am a Phoenix. Watch me Papa God. YOUR WILL BE DONE. ^_^

Writer's Block

Bakit ako nahihirapan sumulat ng katha? Indi ba ito ang ikinabubuhay ng aking diwa? Ito ang inihihinga ng aking kaluluwa... Ngunit bakit ganito... ngayong bubuksan ko ulit ang aking utak para sa mga posibilidad bigla akong natakot... dahil ba alam kong ito na ung pag asa? ito na un? Hindi ko alam pero kinakabahan talaga ako... parang ayaw ko maniwala pero eto na nga sha talaga eto na ung moment iyong time na hinahanap ko pero bakit hinahanap ko ung highschool na babae sa katauhan ko? Dahil ba indi na ako naniniwala sa magic? Hindi na ako naniniwala sa love? Hindi na ako naniniwala sa sweet moments? Ganun ba talaga kapag marami ka nang naranasan at alam mong hindi isang fairytale ang buhay kung kaya natatakot kang magbigay ng maling paniniwala. Or talaga lang nawalan na ako ng kumpiyansang there really is a fairytale in our time?

Now i understand...

I remember the time when i got hired from another institution. I was perfectly happy with my job that time but god has other plans for my life. When i got the good news that i was chosen its also the time i got promoted. I was totally happy and ecstatic but also tormented and confused. I was given a chance of a lifetime to work in an institution that i know i would work someday even when i was just a call center agent. I enjoyed my bigger salary back then because i know when i reach my true destination my salary would degrade. That time, i really didnt know how will that happen but then again, i was transferred to my current job that time. It was prestigious in a way that you get to be on that company with prestigious work description. Then the offer for my final and true destination came the moment they announced that i have been promoted. Funny that even if my promotion salary was bigger i let myself have a 40% salary off by accepting the offer of now my current work. I did felt the weight of the demotion. I did become depressed for over one year because of it. I really felt demoted and deprived. Fast forward to my third year and i was so happy. I am so enjoying the company of my new work family. I like my supervisor so much as he was so nice to talk to and understands family matters. I tried applying for promotion but no luck. Then came this day to make me realize that i am not yet meant to be promoted because someone more important than money... needs me. Someone i owe my life needs me and i could not exchange anything for her. Sometime ago i ask myself if money is really everything. If buying luxurious stuff is really the thing now to prove something for yourself as that is what i see in tv, media and celebrities... of course i get jealous too (Well i will do this soon though but then again its not my priority) thougb the answer that i am looking for was automatically given and its not. Money is not everything. But what is really important? With the incident today i can fully say that time, care and love is the most important aspect of all. Yes, money can buy you all the luxuries your heart will want. It will bring you to places that you will desire but it will never buy you time well spent with your loved ones. It will never bring you back to the time that all they want was for you to come to their aid. It can also never buy you love. Love that only you could give to them. Love that thru your service could transcend the message to them. I dont want to regret everything when it cones to my loved ones i want to give them my all. I will never be a perfect daughter nor granddaughtevr nor person but i do try to be a good one. So im trying my best to give it to them... this time is all i have this time is all i can maximize for me to be there because ill never know when i can no longer give back. And all i can do is cry at night regretting everything because i never have time because im too busy to care. I know having big salary is also a big responsibility, right now, i know deep in my heart that it is not yet time... i still need to learn much about my current situation. XBut right now, right this minute... im thankful that i have TIME.

Old messages, old life

Tonight, I have been cleaning my old phone to give to my mom who wants to use it as it has been being buried in the drawer for too long. Since, she wants wifi in her mobile phone I opted to just give it to her. While I was clearing out my old archives and messages from long ago, I read a couple of messages that meant to me back then. Messages that would make my heart leap whenever I read them but now would scarred me and put tears in my eyes. Those old messages that are remembrance of my past. Messages that let me remember that once I have been a victim of stupidity and dumdness. Im so sad now that I remember those times that I thought I have found the one but then have been yet again betrayed. I felt the trauma that is creeping up in my body while reading those messages. I was dumb. I was fooled. I was mercilessly made to believe that I was loved but I didn't remember being one. Im so sad that I let someone use me. I let someone abuse me. And I pray to god that someday he will heal me. Also, ask myself to forgive me and have a better life.

Begging for forgiveness from myself,

 

posted from Bloggeroid

Why I love Ortigas

Hmm... come to think of it... it has been weeks that I have been in ortigas regularly. Why you ask? Its because I felt that Ortigas is my breathing place. Its where I can relax and be myself. Its been a crazy two weeks for me already. I.need.to.breathe. being in SM North Edsa is not calming for me. Its like an extension of my work place where I need to get things done. Its like an errand place. But Ortigas for me its like a haven. A place where nobody would know me or nobody I could run into. When I felt like running away Ortigas is my go to place. Megamall is my cave. Well since I am relaxing I want to eat something light but I have not eaten before. So I opted to dine in  Le coeur de france. Since I want something light and tangy... nope I do have a sweet tooth but this time I want something tangy, something filling. So I opted to go to this place as I know they have mouthwatering breads!

 

Since I want a light merienda I opted to get an Italian Beef Turnover which by the way was so yummy! Perfect for an afternoon merienda. This is for only 89 pesos.

 

 

 

I also ordered a croughnut since I was curious with the taste of a donut and croissant fusion. Well, this actually a let down as I was expecting it to be somewhat salty and tangy as I order parmesan cheese version of it but twas too sweet for my craving that day! So I would say the I would not order it again in this place. Sorry... but for those who want sweet tasting croughnuts then this is your best bet! I think this is 89 pesos also.

 

 

 

 



Of course when in Ortigas I get a chance to meet my girl_friends for some chitchat time though this time it would only be for a small talk as I am meeting my bestfriend for a downtime and chikka moment. Me and my bestfriend loved to talk a lot and eat a lot too. I get different perspective and of course a breathe of fresh air where I can be totally be my nerdy goofy self. After strolling and walking for hours, we have come to terms with our tummy and call it dinner time.

 

Me and my bestfriend ate at Almon Marina and get the Garlic Sausage, Pasta, Salad and Garlic Bread Combo for only 185 pesos! I think this comes with an Iced Tea too!

 

 

 

What a way to end a day for breathing and successfully relieve my stress! Thank god for wonderful friends!!!! And for an available bestest bestfriend!

 

 

 

Ever having a chill moment,

 

 

posted from Bloggeroid

Too cool for school in SM North Edsa

Well I have been hearing a lot about the Tool school for school brand for quite sometime now but I haven't gotten any chance on stumbling on their products as I just known they just opened in MOA which is too far from my place. So when I heard fron my cousins that they just opened in SM North Edsa, Im so ecstatic that I immediately went there and haul a couple of products for myself.

Of course, being a perfume addict I immediately fall in love with their solid perfume that smells like a flower. But being the forgetful girl that I am I forgot to take a photo of the stuff that I hoard in their shop. So here is a picture of it that I grab from here. This solid perfume I think was priced for around 700-900 pesos. I really can't remeber it



Well, the solid perfume was just a distraction for me as I am eyeing their 24 hr eyebrow and eyeliner pens but end up buying their eyebrow and eyeliner set with a free brush!







All images are from http://sokoglam.com/products/eye-design-box-in-pitch-black

This set I guess ranges from 400-600 pesos. This brow and liner combo was like their 24 hrs version and better when I get to test it on the back of my hand. I haven't really get the chance yet to use this as I am still using my eyebrow retractable pen from Etude House. So the revie for this would be in another entry ^_0.

Also, since I was in the look out for a new gentler scrub, as I think my face has already been dull due to the lack of time removing my dead skin cells,  I also get a MCGIRLY RICE SCRUB that the price ranges from 500-800 pesos.


Source: http://en.koreadepart.com/item/1341211639/

The reason I bought this is because it is like a reasonable priced Cure exfoliator and doesn't irritate my face. The product gently but effectively exfoliates  and removes dead skin cells leaving the face fresh and glowing! I have already tried it several times and I would say that once I have used this up I would really buy another tube. So that I will always look fresh and young! haha!

Loving being young and pretty,

posted from Bloggeroid

Retreat: Results

It so nice that once in a while you will have a "Me time" where you will just sit in a shore and think about what happened, what is happening and how did it happen. It so nice to have that release from everything even just for a day even for just a few hours. Sometimes, being with your self alone with the sea roaring upon your ears you get to know what are the ones that made your life imbalanced. Then you get to meditate on it. You get to let go of the past hurts and then see things a different light. Running away from your daily routine or your daily war zone is absolutely a must for everyone as this gets you focused in what you do. Maybe I will get to do this again next year. Maybe I may do this a yearly thing. Maybe next time I will cleanse my soul. I want to explore so many more things in my life and I want to grab as much experiences that I can. To think that my soul has been captured years ago and been released just this year is a welcoming thought for me. One thing is for sure, I have been cleansed. I have been renewed. The adventure that I have experience is really relaxing and something to look forward to. I hope I can get to create another chance like it but in a another place. In another time and in another moment.

 

 

My Retreat

Im always on the go. Its either I am going late for office or Im accompanying my grandparents to their doctors appointment. Im never really rested for the past weeks or so. Going from one place to another is quite a thing for me. I think I'm at ease with travelling. I go with the flow. But when I shut down I go somewhere far. So since I have been out of sync with my system for quite a while now. I have booked a retreat for myself. In order for me to internalize and see inside myself what path I am now trudging in. Where do I want to go and come to terms with my self. Also, most importantly talk to God in peace.

 

Luckily, I have this coupon from my Belle de Jour Power Planner about a 40% off for accommodation. The next thing I did was book a retreat and relaxation package with my bestfriend in tow. So off we went to Grand Seas Subic Resort in Subic and checking "out of town bonding session" off our list too! (Talk about hitting two birds in one stone!).

 

Me chilling before the bus gets rolling
Inside the bus

 

Since it was so inexpensive I thought that the rooms would be just small but I was surprised that the room was actually big! The beds are big enough and the toilet room was very nice! Also, they have free massage in the coupon too! So much for relaxation. Here are the pictures to have a glimpse of this wonderful resort with wonderful staffs!

 

Le Room Numbre

 

 

Le Beds

 

 

The Wonderful Idiot Box inside the room

 

Le Lamp

 

Le View from our window

 

 

Le View from our Door

 

Le Small Infinity pool

The pool was really small but then again since the place was so serene and I think its not peak season then its not crowded and you can swim there all by yourself and if you would want a bigger swimming place there is always the beach for that!

 

Le Shore

 

Le Sands and Beach

 

Seashore

After some Rest and Relaxation from our first day, I would say that it really is a very fine retreat place for those aiming to do just that. So I encourage anyone who want to have a quiet time and be with nature to book their RnR here at Subic Grand Seas Resort! But before checking out, of course, we must avail the first meal of the day and that is their complimentary breakfast!

Le Tablescapes

I love how they set their table. Its very chic to look at and very classy for that matter! Though I would say that the first few minutes of sitting at the table was a stressful part for me because my bestfriend played the stemmed glass to bring out a tune from it! (think about the promil child commercial where the kid is playing a tune from the stemmed glass water) I was panicking as I thought the glass would break while emitting sound! But yeah a sound was produced and the commercial was humanly possible I guess!

 

I had a picture but then I respect the privacy policy of our friendship so no spilling of pics in public social media including blogs I guess? (hahaha but I am the only one who loves to write so I guess blog rules are just for me hehehe *wink wink*)





 

After that stressful minutes, breakfast was served.

 

Le Yummy Complimentary Brekky

 

I honestly thought that the breakfast was just a small serving since its just a complimentary one and the review of it was really terrible in the net, so I was seriously considering of ordering one full serving but lo and behold the complimentary breakfast plate was actually a full meal! It did make my hunger satisfied and I ate really heavy breakfast so I can last the whole day for it to be filled it means that it really is a big serving! So advise for those who will get it please choose the sausage breakfast and not the scrambled eggs one. YOU HAVE A CHOICE so CHOOSE WISELY *wink wink*

 

Le Church in front of it

Of course, since we saw a church in front of the resort when we arrived. We promised to drop by and pray for a little while. Trivia: Did you know that when its your first time in a church you can have a wish and it would really be granted? If you didn't know then NOW YOU KNOW!

 

Le View from the bus going home

 

 

Of course, all good things always comes to an end. After that stressless retreat and relaxation it is now time to face head on the busy streets and work days stress. 

 

Le Outside view from the bus

 

 

Until my next RnR Adventure,

 

posted from Bloggeroid

Breakeven

For the past months this year I have been frequently listening to the script's breakeven song. And I guess for months I have been feeling a little break and out of tune with myself. Maybe because I didn't really know what to do next I was so unprepared with the turning points in my life. The next thing I know there was nothing to do and all I need to think about was myself. I was not ready to be responsible with myself. I was so busy being responsible to others that being responsible for myself is so repulsive. O well, I guess this time around I should move and I should take control of my life.

posted from Bloggeroid

Harvest

I remember back then about the quote by my supervisor: "Sow and Reap". This is her favorite words and quote from the bible. She always told me to plant where I stand. To plant goodness every chance I have and I will automatically reply: "when will I reap what I sow?" then she will automatically reply: "basta! Sow lang ng Sow" (its just... just do your sowing!). Now, these words of wisdom are the words that are ringing in my head :). You see I am a bread winner and I help in the studies of my sister and brother. I know that this is my responsibility as an elder. Its how we are brought up and I don't mind it anyways because even if it is hard I still enjoy being helpful to my siblings. I am proud that I could give help.

Years, pass by so fast my sister graduated then the last one to finance is my brother. He is the youngest of us four. Me and my sister help each other to ease the burden of financing his studies. This is how we are taught about the sense of responsibility. I am happy that this was ingrained to my head even when I am a kid, today, I would proudly say that I am very stable in my choice of field.

When we are kids we lack of every material things. We are to some extent deprive as we don't have extra money to buy luxuries. Though, our primary needs are met. From there, we dream that someday we would conquer the world and bring our parents to different destinations that we long for. From there dreams are made.

Today, right this very minute our dreams are finally coming true. My sister have graduated and is working in a stable company. My youngest brother is graduating. Not only that, his team won as the National Best Thesis of their school.

Now, I really could feel that this is the harvest. This is the moment where I would get a hold of my life and start from scratch. I have no qualms in doing this but actually I am so happy that this was actually the start of my future. Now, all I could mutter is "THANK YOU LORD!!!"

posted from Bloggeroid

Prayer

For the past days, I have been praying for two things. The first one is to keep me inside his heart so that the next one that who will seek me must first seek him in order to find me. You see I'm so tired of the loop that I am in. I am so tired of meeting Mr. Wrong. I am so tired of having my heart broken into many pieces. I already have my fair share of heartache and as time pass by it did became lighter to bear but still the same impact with my well being. It still hurt as hell but this time I could lighten the blow. I could carry it with a smile. This time around I'll hide inside your heart so that the next one will have difficulty in finding me that when he sees me he will cherish me which I deserve.

The second one was I am praying for you. Yes! You! For years, I have been praying that I wish one day you will see me as me but beyond my imperfections. You know I have been waiting and I hope you have been waiting for me too. I know that you want to see me in my best features and I know you want me thin. I will give it to you to see how it works. I hope you search your heart and see how I am important to you. You are kept inside my heart longer than I expect. Even when I don't see you as someone who is possible to love but maybe even then I have been captivated. I've seen you bloom. I hope you will see me too. I am waiting for you, please wait for me too? I'll do my best as long as you promise me your there at my best.

posted from Bloggeroid

Harvest

I remember back then about the quote by my supervisor: "Sow and Reap". This is her favorite words and quote from the bible. She always told me to plant where I stand. To plant goodness every chance I have and I will automatically reply: "when will I reap what I sow?" then she will automatically reply: "basta! Sow lang ng Sow" (its just... just do your sowing!). Now, these words of wisdom are the words that are ringing in my head :). You see I am a bread winner and I help in the studies of my sister and brother. I know that this is my responsibility as an elder. Its how we are brought up and I don't mind it anyways because even if it is hard I still enjoy being helpful to my siblings. I am proud that I could give help.

Years, pass by so fast my sister graduated then the last one to finance is my brother. He is the youngest of us four. Me and my sister help each other to ease the burden of financing his studies. This is how we are taught about the sense of responsibility. I am happy that this was ingrained to my head even when I am a kid, today, I would proudly say that I am very stable in my choice of field.

When we are kids we lack of every material things. We are to some extent deprive as we don't have extra money to buy luxuries. Though, our primary needs are met. From there, we dream that someday we would conquer the world and bring our parents to different destinations that we long for. From there dreams are made.

Today, right this very minute our dreams are finally coming true. My sister have graduated and is working in a stable company. My youngest brother is graduating. Not only that, his team won as the National Best Thesis of their school.

Now, I really could feel that this is the harvest. This is the moment where I would get a hold of my life and start from scratch. I have no qualms in doing this but actually I am so happy that this was actually the start of my future. Now, all I could mutter is "THANK YOU LORD!!!"

April Fools' Day

Back to the real world, I am so excited to go to work today because I now have earlier working schedule. I was hoping that there would no traffic to and from work.  Indeed, I was right! The traffic was so light! I also easily get a ride home which is so hard on my previous and later work schedule. I think I would really love this new schedule that I have. I got to go to work early and go home early too! How cool is that right?! I am also so productive with this schedule that I am not bored and I have so many things to do! It's such a great schedule for me.

 

Also, since I am now in an earlier schedule I can now have some bonding time with my friends! Speaking of bonding with friends, yesterday my friend informed me that she will go to the mall to buy some stuff for herself. Since she knows that I always passed that mall she invited me to come along and since I have now an earlier shift she no longer needs to wait for long. This means we have more time for bonding! Our bonding was all about buying some make-up and preggy clothes for my mother to be friend. I was so happy that she would be a mom now. I remember those times that we met that all we talked about was latest fashion, hobbies and some mundane things but now the world has evolved. We have matured and talking about preggy dresses and clothes, babies and nieces. It was fun to have friends that could actually evolve with you. Friends that you know you have their friendship even if you have misgivings. I love these friends that they are brutally honest with me. They would actually tell me the truth even if they know that it will hurt me but they are just doing it for me to become better. They are the type of friends that care so much for you that's why they want you to be better.

 

The fun part of being with these friends are the endless chitchat and bonding over cups of cold blended mocha. I have actually forgotten about the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf 50% off discount yesterday and luckily, my two friends have known about it and stayed there to wait for me. Since, that was the case I have availed their 50% off.

 

The only unlucky part of it was the caffeine in mocha kept me awake, hence, this blog posting late at night as I could not sleep yet... ARGH! DAMN DELICIOUS YUMMY MOCHA!!!!!! but I will always do the same mistake again! Don't you doubt that my friend ^_~.

 

Reunions

It’s so nice to know that every now and then there are celebrations like these that bond people together. I’m such a sucker for family reunions. I love the family feel. The security and closeness that even if you fail or got broken you know deep down in yourself that they have your back and will never be alone. I know that family has different structures and different core. They also have different tradition. Well as for my family I would have to say that bonding for us means eating together. You see my grandmother and grandfather on my mom’s side loves to eat. Even if they are already 81 years old they still have the satisfaction in eating in a new restaurant and discovering the tastes of food they offer. My grandmother loves cooking so she has picky taste buds. Most of the time when eating a restaurant we would discuss which food we like and the food we don’t but once it passes in our taste bud we would always go there to eat every family celebrations. I remember the time when my grandmother and grandfather loved to eat at Kowloon West House because of the delicious yet affordable and very large serving. The addiction lasted for years as every birthday celebration was celebrated there. However, my grandparents becomes bored with the place and tried our luck in eat all you can restaurants. After, so many tries, we have now our new favorite restaurant and that is Jade Valley where we ate our lunch today. I know that in my previous post I said that it was in dimsum break but what can I do my grandmother has a fickle mind so the venue was changed. Also, its her birthday she can pick wherever to eat. :)

 



Birthday Girl having a blast!

 

The place was not new to us so we feel at home going there. We have just eaten there for I think 4 or 5 times over the years. I remember the last time we went there and the food was not that amazing and consider not eating there anymore however my grandmother still pursued that her birthday celebration be celebrated there so we have no choice but to go there. Unexpectedly, the food was amazingly good!!! It’s really yummy and for a 225 pesos eat-all-you-can the place was also great! The 225 pesos payment also includes 1 glass of iced tea. There are over 25 dishes to choose from. These 25 dishes contain soup, appetizer and desserts. Here are some of the foods that they served when we ate there a while ago :)

salad bar

bird's nest soup and sinigang na baboy

condiments area

Tray of foods

As I have said these foods are so yummy and they are really something to crave about. My favorite dish was actually the fried chicken and the fried wanton balls. What can I do? I love fried anything. Well for all its worth, I am so full and have eaten a lot too. Excited to eat there again!

Our emptied plates



One happy tummy
 

P.S. Before I forgot, thanks mom for the pics. Well, she was the one who took all the pictures in this entry. Yeah, I know Im such a lucky girl to have a mom like her. So supportive! ^_^

my sassy, gorgeous and supportive mom! The best mom ever!!!