Right now, this moment

Right now.

I am honestly been an avid reader of Marc and Angel for over some time now and have been reading their latest book which is "Getting Back to Happy".

Truth be told, I have been in a major life over haul right now in family department. You see, I grow up with my grandparents and I was the one taking care of them over the years. It was easy at first as grandmother was still been able to do household chores and grandfather is sharing some of the stuff but recently things have drastically changed. My responsibility back then was to bring them to their doctors appointment and accompany them. No sweat, I can do that. I am also the one who always been with them whenever they are confined in the hospital.

Of course, they have children! For heaven's sake I am their granddaughter. But I was willing to do what must be done because I love them. So it was ok for me as those are the only responsibilities that I need to do.

Fast forward to today, my grandmother no longer have the urge to do household chores to the point that she does not even cook anymore (even if that makes her happy) and grandfather become grumpy. I tried my best to adjust with the situation but the responsibility is just too much imagined being an undomesticated person to forcefully transforming into a domesticated one. I have been trying to over compensate with the changes but it was all too much for me. Juggling life, career and studies.

Honestly speaking, it is ok for me to do all the household chores and other needed things. I understand that I grew up with them but I also would want to see my uncle and mom take responsibility such as accompanying them to their check ups. It would be a lot of help for me if they could do such task. I would forever be grateful. But as I see it they do not know how to do it because they are just both passing that task to each other. In result is that they always just passed to me their responsibilities, it seemed that they don't even care. Yes, both of them. They just give the burden to me and let me handle it. I am mad and angry at them for making me take their responsibilities but because I do these for my grandparents out of love even if it hurts and difficult I still do it. I always put to my mind that I do these not for them but for the love of my grandparents who raised me. The only comfort that I have right now is that I know that God will blessed me and see me through. I know that God will be the one who sees all these and eventually when I am older and aged, all these hardships will make sense.It is hard but I always think that I just do what I have to do.