Beautiful Girl

Whenever I hear the song Beautiful Girl of Sean Kingston, this line "You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal" always resonates in my head. This was a popular song, I think, one or two years ago and now, "suicidal" is what you will see in the news now. This makes me cringe. This makes me sad. This makes me angry to the people around those kids who took their life. Angry in the way that they have not been sensitive enough that this person they love has been acting strange.

Logically, I know for a fact that I too have suicidal tendencies. I know this from the very beginning that I have been growing up. As a child I know that I am too emotional to the extent that I can feel all my negative emotions all at the same time. I am a drama queen for that matter and I accept that because I am that. However, I never ever of committing suicide because I love my family too much. I want to give them the burden of missing me for their entire lifetime so I don't go that way. Also, I am too self-conscious, choosy and fastidious to go that way. 

I remember when we are in second year high school, my friends and I are talking about how to take one's life graciously so we pick jumping off the building but that doesn't suit our taste because our body parts would splatter and we don't like the gruesome picture. Then we talk about hanging ourselves but then again the rope would make a mark on our neck and we don't like people to see the mark on our necks. Then we take on cutting ourselves but again we do not want to make our wrist with cuts and bruises so we don't like it too. Then we take on the poison thing and again we don't like to damage even our intestines and internal organs so we don't like this too. Therefore, we come to conclusion that the best way to die is when God would get you because you are too old. At least, in that way, you are still the way you are. This means you will die graciously due to old age. You will still be a beautiful girl no matter what. As they say Life gets better as you get older. So enjoy it while you can and don't do shortcuts. Shortcuts cut the fun in half anyways.