Feeling good

After writing about how I felt for the past 2 days, I have come to terms with myself and felt relieved. Well, I still need a shot of something alcoholic for sure but the feeling of being pressured to be the next bride has somehow been eliminated. Now, all I want is to have a nice bonding moments with my single friends and have a nice long chat over coffee. Perhaps, I also want a gimik night out soon where I could dance the night away and enjoy this moment where I am still free. Drink some Baileys and dance to the tune of pop music.

 

I have also talked to my beau about what happened in the past week that we have not converse. A typical scenario with my current relationship as both of us is quite busy. He is so dedicated with his work and I am dedicated with a lot of things that is happening in my life. A good conversation with him has also help me ease the pressure as I know I have someone whom I can trust. Maybe not yet trust with my life but sure enough there is a chance that I could. A lot of time is required to prove this to me because I know that longevity isn't security. Until to such time that you are in the altar saying your vows you will never be sure whom you will marry and even with vows you will never be sure that your marriage will be successful. I know for a fact that for a MARRIAGE to be successful both parties should WORK it. Though it doesn't hurt to marry someone who you can get along with.

 

I know I have been cynical with the whole marriage stuff what can I do? I have been a girl wishing for her happily ever after to arrive 5 years ago and it has been shattered mercilessly by someone who just talk empty promises and meaningless sweetness. Being in a dream was like floating in the clouds but like most dreams you will need to be waken up to face the reality that some dreams are just meant to be dreams.

 

Maybe after that heart break years ago, I started to not really be a dreamer but a realistic person who sees stuff as it is and don't put dreamy things with it. Maybe I am tired of fantasizing and hoping that one day this one true love of mine is just beside me all along waiting for me to bloom. Waiting for the right time to propose. Maybe in time... maybe in four years time.